Videos, DVDs and Peepshows

Adult video stores are often crowded, cramped, and disorganized. They offer virtually no customer service. The selection can be hit or miss and some of the patrons are downright creepy. But putting all those negatives aside, these stores are a godsend for the horny males (most women wouldn't be caught dead in these shops!) who crave spurt-of-the-moment visual stimulation. They're especially useful for blowing off a little steam on your lunch break after suffering through a rough morning at the office. And despite the former Giuliani administration's crackdown on porn, there are still over 40 adult video stores around town that offer a staggering array of XXX videos, DVDs, CD-ROMs, magazines, and video peepshows. The latter, in their current high-tech incarnation, offer such niceties as dual monitors and split screens that can show four flicks at once. Whew, talk about sensory overload! In order to avoid the wrath of local law enforcement, adult video stores in New York City must offer 60 percent, non-adult, merchandise, so don't be surprised if the front of an XXX video store resembles Blockbuster. The result is that you can now buy Anal Intruder XV for yourself and The Lion King for your niece in the very same store.

In this section, we'll take you on a walking tour of Gotham's XXX video stores, starting in Lower Manhattan and working our way north. It's probably not the type of tour you want to conduct for your out-of-town guests, but then you never know...maybe Uncle Bernie would get a kick out of it.

Bear in mind that it's not unusual for businesses - especially of the adult variety - to close, relocate, or change their hours, policies, and/or prices, so be sure to call ahead before venturing out. We'd hate for you to get caught with your pants down, literally!

Chinatown

After gorging on dim sum, wander west on Canal Street to 376 Video Store (376 Canal St. bet. W. Broadway & Wooster St.; 212.431.1651; 10am-12pm), where you can digest your meal as you watch naughty flicks from one of five peep booths.

East Village

Swing by Kim's Video (6 St. Marks Pl. bet. 2nd & 3rd Aves.; 212.505.0311; www.kimsvideo.com; daily: 10am-midnight). Head to the third floor of this mecca for renting film exotica, and you'll find yourself in Quentin Tarantino's wet dream. Not only is the store chock-full of everything from classic Hungarian cinema to blaxploitation films, but nestled by the checkout counter is an amply stocked adult section, most readily visible by the cutout of four female derrieres from a discarded porn video box. Kim's boasts the most knowledgeable staff outside of an NYU Film School Film Theory class (just quiz them on the film aesthetics of classic porn if you don't believe us). Step into the phallic aisle and you'll find an entire wall lined with gay videos; do a 180 and you'll face an entire wall lined with straight porn. Spin around and around and you'll have a true bi experience. The adult video section is organized by star, director, and fetish. If you enjoy the work of XXX auteurs like the Dark Brothers or Seymour Butts & Shane, you'll find them here, clearly labeled. If your taste runs to porn starlets like the late Savannah, or the now-legit Traci Lords, they each have slots of their own. You'll also find series like Butt-Row and Up and Cummers (the former featuring porn veterans going anal and the latter featuring new starlets going anal) and a healthy dose of classics like Deep Throat and Debbie Does Dallas. On the gay side of the aisle, you can pick from the oeuvres of Jeff Stryker or Chi Chi Larue, indulge in a Latino, military, or cop fantasy, or dip into the Euromale category and rent The Czech is in the Male. Incidentally, the staffer who served as our guide explained that classic porn was shot on film, not video, and boasted fuller story lines. And don't we all rent pornos for their engaging plots?

Next to the smattering of vintage porn and pre-Deep Throat loops, there's a sizable collection of DVDs. What you won't find much of is the truly fetishistic stuff, like shit videos (Popo Club 2 is here, but you'll have to go elsewhere to find #1 if you want to keep up with the shit-stained saga of the sequel) and tranny porn (transsexuals and she-males). Kim's is also surprisingly light on Asian and black straight porn, although there seems to be a ream of it on the gay side. Adjacent to the adult aisle, you'll also find an amazingly thorough sexploitation section (sorry fellas, no penetration in these videos) featuring the work of the resurgently popular Russ Meyer and others. Kim's has additional locations throughout the city.

West Village

Our first stop is Westworld Video (354 West St.; 212.229.1334; open 24/7), which features 22 peep show booths and videos for as little as three for $13. Our next stop is Vivid Video Inc. (100 Christopher St. @ Bleecker St.; 212.352.8800; open 24/7), which gave me the jitters. Perhaps it was the warning to under-aged customers emblazoned on the shop's dull gray steel doors, or maybe it was the salesmen, who upon discovering the purpose of my visit, insisted on calling the manager to have him speak with me. Even the titles of some of the videos creeped me out: Sex Sluts in the Tower of London ($19.95), Asian Dolls Uncut ($24.95), and Black Street Hookers ($24.95). I felt a little better with the quasi-elegant covers of Andrew Blake's Aroused and Secret Paris. Though owner Ron says his best sellers are gay pride memorabilia and clubwear, I got the sense that this shop was indicative of the worst part of straight culture and that it could just as easily have been located in middle America as in Greenwich Village. Like a neighborhood 99 cents sex store, Vivid Video offers bric-a-brac such as Peppermint Peckers ($8), Dicklet's gum ($4), and big glasses with a penis for a nose (I didn't even bother getting the price on those). Ron told me that novelties account for approximately 10-15% of his business. The inexpensive clubwear that is Vivid Video's main business - the thigh highs, stockings, crotchless undies ($9-$35), and jockstraps ($5-$26.95)- is gaudy to say the least. In the back room, the clothing for women is reminiscent of the merchandise in those "dirty" suburban sex shops that cater to the tasteless. You'll find "hootchie mama" animal prints; fuzzy, fake, pink fur; bright red sequins, and pastel flowers in nylon, rayon, and polyester. Yuck!

Walking back west on Christopher Street, we arrive at Harmony Video (139 Christopher St. @ Greenwich St.; 212.366.9059; open 24/7), a West Village fixture for over a decade, catering to customers of all sexual orientations. You'll find somewhat "mainstream" soft porn on the main level, along with a range of sex toys, penile enhancers, condoms, and lubricants, all to complement your video purchase. On the lower floor is the bulk of Harmony's hard-core collection, conveniently grouped by production company. A handful of video "preview" booths are available (note that the one-person-per-booth rule is strictly enforced) which enable you to watch four movies simultaneously on two large color screens. Hitting a "ready" button next to the big blackened glass window on either side of the booth lifts the baffle between the glass panes (so long as your neighbor in the adjacent booth has done the same), setting up a video date of sorts. Curiously, we noticed a 2-inch gap under the window finished out with a stainless-steel trough, similar to what you would find in front of a bank teller. This was designed, no doubt, to allow peep booth neighbors to share their opinions of the previews, or perhaps a stick of gum or a breath mint. We strolled north to Extraordinary DVD Video (148 W. 14th St. bet. 6th & 7th Aves.; 212.620.0581; open 24/7) which has a reasonably good selection, but extraordinarily bright lighting. Alas, no peep booths here.

Chelsea

Our first stop is Unicorn (277C W. 22nd St. bet. 7th & 8th Aves.; 212.924.2921; Su-Th: noon-4am; F-Sa: noon-6am). Nearby is the teeny Serendib Video (755 6th Ave. @ 25th St.; 212.229.1316; open 24/7), SAS Video (154 W. 29th St. bet. 6th & 7th Aves.; 212.239.0443; Su-Th:10am-11pm; F-Sa: open all day), and 725 Video (725 6th Ave. bet. 23rd & 24th Sts.; 212.924.4633; open 24/7).

Penn Station & Vicinity

New Jerseyites looking to kill some time before making the mind-numbing commute back home are in luck, as this area is home to a number of porn shops. DVD Explosion (412 8th Ave. bet. 30th & 31st Sts.; 212.629.6977; open 24/7) offers primarily gay and bi XXX fare along with six high-tech peep booths.

Penn Video (252 W. 31st St. bet. 7th & 8th Aves.; 212.967.3804; M-Sa: 9:30am-11:30pm; Su: noon-7pm), across the street from Penn Station, efficiently crams a wide variety of XXX videos into a tiny space. A bit further uptown, we ducked into Peepworld (155 W. 33rd St. bet. 6th & 7th Aves.; 212.643.8907; open 24/7), where a mere dollar buys 150 seconds worth of bliss at one of 22 peep booths, each of which offers 64 channels. But what really caught our eye at Peepworld was a bestiality video starring a couple of slimy eels (we'll let you guess what they were doing).

Less than a block from the phallic Empire State Building are the aptly named Empire Entertainment (48 W. 33rd St. bet. 5th & 6th Aves.; 212.967.9629; M-F: 8am-1:45am; Sa: 9am-1:45am; Su: 10am-1:45am) and Empire DVD (42 W. 33rd St. bet. 5th & 6th Aves.; 212.760.8808; Daily: 10am-12:45am). The latter is bright, clean, well-organized, and carries a sizable collection of adult DVDs. Empire Entertainment offers a healthy selection of films for less than $10. On the first floor you can indulge in one of 18 quadvision peep booths; movies are rotated daily. Upstairs are three more peep booths as well as several one-on-one "live fantasy" booths. On the day I visited, five rather attractive women, ranging from their 20s to early 40s, were vying for attention. A seductive Latina with a curvy figure, sensuous lips, and bedroom eyes caught my fancy. She called out to me, "Hey, handsome" with a devilish smile. I wasted no time walking over to her. She offered me a "full masturbation session" (meaning I would be entitled to climax in the privacy of my own booth-woohoo!) for $25, plus I had to pay $5 "for the machine" (a five-dollar bill is required to raise the mechanical curtain). I didn"t want to negotiate too aggressively, but I did manage to knock $5 off the price. After handing my "fantasy lady" a crisp twenty, we each entered our respective booths. After inserting a fiver into the slot to the right of the opaque window, the curtain between the booths slowly ascended. Each booth was equipped with a phone. Suddenly I felt as though I were paying a conjugal visit to my woman in jail. I experimented with the phone for a bit, but verbal communication wasn't really necessary and, anyway, I wanted both hands free. My lovely Latina wasted no time fondling her ample breasts and stepping out of her red bra and panties. This was surprisingly exciting. Next she was spreading her legs, fingering herself, and asking to see my cock. She begged for me to fuck her. I unzipped my pants and began stroking my erect member, thrusting forward, pretending that there was no glass separating me from my partner. Next, my lover was on her knees, licking her lips and wrapping them around my imaginary cock. She briefly turned around and shoved her pert ass toward me, then did a 180 and started playing with her clit, all the while encouraging me to come. I didn't disappoint her. As soon as my orgasm was complete, my fantasy mate wiped her hands with a paper towel, motioned for me to do the same, and quickly began dressing. I emerged from my booth and turned to thank her, but before I could get the words out, I heard her say "Hey, handsome" to her next lucky customer.

Times Square & Vicinity

Once the stronghold of adult entertainment in New York, this area is a mere shadow of its former self, having been decimated by the city's "Disneyfication" program. Even so, there are a few porn purveyors left, including the venerable Show World (675 8th Ave bet 42-43rd St.; 212.247.6643/212.489.7576; open 24/7), which boasts two huge floors of smut, but alas, no more live shows in the once-hallowed Triple Treat Theater. All told, Show World has more than 50 video peep booths so you'll hardly ever have to wait to get your rocks off. We found DVDs for as low as $8 and a huge selection of CDs, videos, and magazines. And Show World even has a men's room!

Heading downtown, past the main branch of the New York Public Library, we turn west on 37th Street and and stumble upon Vitny Video (59 W. 37th St. bet. 5th & 6th Aves.; 212.764.4798; open 24/7), a clean, bright shop with clearly marked aisles. To get to the adult videos you have to walk through silver tinsel, how fitting. Our main destination, however, is next door at Kinematics (61 W. 37th St. bet. 5th & 6th Aves.; 212.944.7561; M-F: 9am-12:30am; Sa: 10am-11:30pm; Su: 11pm-11:30pm). Billed as "New York's Premier Fetish Emporium," it surely doesn't disappoint and we were amused by the fact that it neighbors a small bag store called Fellini's. We think Federico, wherever he is, would get a chuckle, as well. Kinematics has an incredible selection of every type of kinky video and magazine you can possibly imagine, some at bargain basement prices, like the 6th, 7th, and 8th volume of the Slave Pain series for a mere $7.95 each. The videos are neatly arranged by production company so, for example, you can zoom right in on Bizarre Video's line. In the front of the store are three huge black binders chock-full of info on "homegrown" enema, peeing, spanking, and trampling videos by such producers as Crystal, Beth Tyler, Nu-West, Leda, and Flag Concept. In the back of the store you'll find 15 high-tech peep booths. Feed them $1 or more and you can access advanced features like fast-forward, rewind, pause, and so on.

Eighth Avenue is home to BLUE DVD (610 8th Ave. bet. 39th & 40th Sts.; 212.302.5266; open 24/7), with its impressive selection of Japanese bondage films. And while you're in the neighborhood, stop by 40th Street Video (300 W. 40th St. @ 8th Ave.; 212.594.0944; Su-W: 8am-2am; Th-Sa: 8am-3am), and Jayasara Video (308 W. 36th St. @ 8th Ave.; 212.268.7181; open 24/7).

Continuing northward we make our way to the Senegalese-owned John Jr. Video (216 W. 50th St. bet. 8th Ave. & Broadway; 212.765.4732; open 24/7), a sort of one-stop shop with a wall of sex toys and hundreds of video titles, 60% of which are non-adult. Adult video booths in the back cost $1 for four minutes.

Upper West Side

Gay men on the Upper West, rejoice: Les Hommes (217B W. 80th St. bet. Broadway & Amsterdam Ave.; 212.580.2445; Su-Th: 10am-2am; F-Sa: 10am-4am) est ici. Whether you're searching for a kiddie flick like Garfield on the Town ($2.95), a blockbuster like The Birdcage, or a majestic, cinematic, tour de force like The Best of Colt Films Parts 5 & 6 ($34.95), Les Hommes has the goods to educate, titillate, and help you ejaculate. A solitary green door marked with the store's name makes this palace of pornography easy to miss. Lubes and adult video sales and rentals (at $3.50 per day) remain Les Hommes' main attractions. Just a few blocks south is Amsterdam Lingerie (287 Amsterdam Ave. bet. 73rd & 74th Sts.; 212.580.4900; open 24/7).