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Last night, as I was sitting on the couch, sipping a vodka-cranberry and watching old 90's music videos with my roommate, I received a message on Adam4Adam. The man emailing me was in his late 20s, black, and living somewhere near me in Brooklyn. While he had a very nicely written profile, and I'm sure was a very nice person, I wasn't especially attracted to him and, mildly distracted by the Goo Goo Dolls, did not respond to his message.

I know that's not the nicest thing to do. I know everyone deserves acknowledgment. But, I also know that, when someone responds to my messages, I assume they're interested, and I get pissed off when later I find out I'm 'not his type,' so I normally choose to spare us both the time.

This apparently was not the ideal method with which to approach this man. He sends me another message: "and don't assume any stereotypes because of the pigment that happens to color my skin either."

Was that really necessary?

Then I am reminded of a time a Latin man in his early 30s hit me up about a year ago. According to his profile, he was tall, athletic, slightly hairy. Sounds hot, but, he had no photos. He was offering to email them to me, but, no one likes to play that game. Once again, I clicked passed him. Several minutes later, he sends me another message, assuming that I just don't like Latin men. Clearly he knows nothing about me, because I love me some Latin boys.

It seems that very often, when I am not interested in someone who is an ethnic minority, they turn it around and make me out to be racist. Sure, I may prefer some races to others, but I'm not about to rule someone out based on that matter alone.

Of course, I know that there are many others who will, which is definitely not cool. But that's a whole other blog...

I hate rejection as much as, if not more than, the next guy. And, sometimes, it leaves me downright furious. But, we all must remember that everyone has a right to not be attracted to someone. It doesn't make anyone shallow, or superficial, or racist. It's just the way the cookie crumbles.

So gents, please lay off the guilt trip if I don't wanna bang you. There's someone else out there who will find you deliciously bangable.

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