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Since the huge Tiger Woods sex scandal earlier this year, I have heard a lot of debate over when sex addiction is an "actual" addiction, or simply an excuse for a man to cheat on his wife and not take the blame.

Working at a comedy club, I have seen a number of stand-up comics who were having a picnic over the Tiger tale. Many of them called him out on bullshitting, because wanting to have sex with a lot of women is a natural instinct of a heterosexual man, likewise with homosexual men lusting after members of their own sex.

I have very little respect for Hugh Hefner as a human being, but I must say he made a very valid point when he said, "I think by and large it's a cop out. I think 'sex addiction' is a convenient phrase for what is really an obsession. Sex is not like a drug or alcohol. It doesn't affect the physicality in the same way. But it can become very obsessive. Neurotic people can do very foolish things. People make choices. Most people who cheat do it because they think they can get away with it."

Some of the listed symptoms for sex addiction include:

1. Obsession over sex to the point where it intrudes your daily routine or hinders your ability to maintain your job and relationships.
2. Going into and remaining in debt for the purpose of obtaining sex with prostitutes. This may also include subscriptions to pornographic Web portals or "sex chats".
3. Looking for sex in public places, including public bathrooms.
4. "Cruising" down the streets but calling it "people watching".
5. Excessive and compulsive masturbation (3-25 times per day or week).
6. A dependence on sexually explicit material in order to become aroused and/or to reach orgasm.
7. Tremendous energy is spent on obtaining sex, being sexual and then recovering from the consequences.
8. Having numerous XXX videos and magazines at home.
9. Exhibitionist activities, including exposing oneself in a car.
10. Constant preoccupation with sexual fantasies which interferes with daily routine

Numbers 1, 2, 7, and 10 all sound like sensible symptoms of addiction. But some people are just exhibitionists. Some people just like having sex in public. That's not an illness. It's a fetish. Some people just like to watch porn and masturbate. And in my opinion, #6 sounds like the "opposite" of addiction.

At what point are you actually addicted to sex...and at what point are you just being a douchebag who can't keep it in his pants?

I would like to break this down into two questions:

"Who decides if one is addicted to sex?"

Naturally, it's a doctor. But how many tests and analyses did Usher's doctor run on him before deciding, "This man is a sex addict!" This is definitely not an illness that can be diagnosed with Web MD. If you cheat on your significant other, and try to tell them that you're addicted to sex without consulting an expert first...no, you're just an asshole.

"How does one qualify for sex addiction?"

Since Tiger Woods and Usher are the only poster boys for sex addiction, I did some research to find a few other examples of sex addiction. EntertainmentWise.com has a gallery of 22 "Celebrity Sex Addicts". This gallery includes:

- Charlie Sheen, who has allegedly slept with over 5,000 women.

- James Brown (well, duh).

- Britney Spears, who reported enjoyed long sex marathons with K-Fed.

- Scary Spice, who had a two-year love affair with two women at once (Three-way relationship).

- Bill Clinton, and we all know why.

If you skim through the entire list, you will find very little proof of true sex addiction. Most of the celebs in this gallery simply enjoy sex, admit to enjoying sex, and manage to get it frequently. That does not constitute addiction in any way.

While I do believe it is possible to have an uncontrollable obsession with sex, I also think that the term, 'sex addiction' is abused by those who simply don't want to limit themselves to one partner for the rest of their lives. That part, I find understandable.

Although I have never been in a non-monogamous relationship, I definitely don't think monogamy is for everyone. However, the golden rule for a non-monogamous relationship is that you are always open and honest with your partner, and that is where these alleged 'addicts' lose all sympathy from me. If you can't keep it in your pants, don't, but don't make it a part of someone else's life if you know you can't control yourself.

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