Please Hold

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Few things are more exciting than the start of a new romance. That "just dating" period...the honeymoon phase BEFORE the honeymoon phase...when you're trying to calculate exactly how long you should wait before calling or texting your prospective lover again. When you try to remain cool and not get too worked up or set your expectations too high, when in reality you can't stop thinking or talking about him or her.

On the other hand, these times can also be incredibly stressful. You're faced with the "does s/he like me, or doesn't s/he" debate. Although another person's feelings may be completely obvious to the world, you might still have your doubts. And, as aforesaid, you're trying to determine the perfect communication ratio so that you can keep a firm grip on your beau/belle, without appearing to be an obsessive stalker.

My dilemma, however, is none of these.

I have reached a point where I would like a boyfriend very much. Unfortunately, I am also very much attached to my single life. The fonder I grow towards my latest investment, the more I like the idea of getting wasted and making out with complete strangers. There is a sex party coming up that I would REALLY like to attend, but can I go out and bang a bunch of other boys with this other guy sitting on my shelf?

My primary question here is...Where do I draw the line? We have not so much as discussed any boyfriend potential. It has been merely implied. Such organic blossoming methods greatly enhance the romance of it all, but it was a lot easier to navigate such a situation when I was still a virgin.

We have exchanged nothing more than a brief peck on the lips. We have not even reached "complicated" status on Facebook. Nothing is official, for sure. And I'm not eager to rush into anything. But how much of an asshole am I if I continue to play with other guys until he finally sticks a flag in my ass and claims me in the name of Boyfriend?

Naturally, the first piece of advice that would come to anyone's head is, "Talk to him about it." He may not mind, or even have monogamy on his agenda. Maybe I'm not even the only guy he's playing with. These are all quite possible, but it's extremely difficult to ask a guy if he minds if you fuck other guys for a while until you set something in stone.

In all honesty, there's always the potential that things may not even work out. It seems unfair for anyone to expect me to commit without committing. Like a library book, I can only be put on hold for so long. I also know I'd be slightly irked if I found he was poking around elsewhere. But how much of this is the actual rules of attraction, and how much is good old-fashioned

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