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Like most gay men, most of my closest companions are female. I hear their numerous dating stories on a regular basis. While I love these ladies dearly, I am disturbed, and, frankly, repulsed by the number of them who try to implement old-fashioned rules of chivalry in the new millennium and use these rules to their advantage. I am a hard-core feminist, and I think that women who expect men to make all the moves and pay for all the expenses are disrespectful to themselves and the rest of womankind.

But, perhaps some of this frustration comes with a little bit of envy.

There are times when I wish I could make it someone else's job to ask me out, so I wouldn't have to worry about it. I don't care about the money part. Hell, there are days when I'd rather cough over a hundred bucks for a date, just as long as he's the one who asks me out.

Friends always come to me for dating advice (not like I'm an expert, obviously). They ask me how long they should wait before they call, if they're moving too fast, if they should pick up the check next time. That's the easy part for me! It's that first move that terrifies me!

I have successfully asked a boy out only one and a half times in my life (I say "half" because the boy accepted, but the date never happened). The main problem is that I'm always nervous that someone is already taken, and I'm stepping on some lucky man's toes. There was one time I tried asking someone out on a date, and he replied that he was already seeing someone. That traumatized me enough to not want to experience it again.

I also feel as if I'm caught in a Catch 22: I like to know a lot of details about a guy before I ask him out, but I can't really find out those details until I ask him out, can I? I like to know what I'm getting involved with, but the juicy info isn't going to come out at first meeting anyway, so why bother?

As time passes, I feel as if I'm getting increasingly confident. But somehow, simply asking, "Do you wanna go out sometime?" or "Can I get your
number?" is a daunting task that I am completely incapable of accomplishing.

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