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Part Three of Four Parts, exploring the relationships and relations between gay men and their heterosexual counterparts...

One good friend of mine, an actor and scholar with whom I've worked and socialized extensively, is a prime example of how a straight guy noting interest in getting head from a gay friend - a Bro Job? - has quite literally from all discernible angles had zero impact on his sexual orientation.

Mickey and I knew each other for some time through mutual friends and just in getting to know one another, there was obvious sexual interest on my part (Mickey is very cute and has eyes that could stop time), and at the very least a casual ease on his part with that knowledge. He once passed a comment which became the core of how we interact as sexually charged (though sexually un-commingled) man-friends. In the course of talking over drinks one night, he leaned in and said to me with a smile and warmth and absolute seriousness, "you know Cas, after a shitload of top-shelf liquor, I could totally picture you sucking my cock some time." Further conversation revealed he had never had a gay encounter, had had plenty of chances to do so but didn't WANT to have a gay encounter, and really didn't even consider the prospect of me going down on him to be a gay encounter. At least not for his participation. "Fucking lucky" boomed in my head as I recalled, with a note of thanks, Frat Boy Jimmy's gay/not gay lesson from years earlier. I've subsequently shared a dressing room with Mickey. I've seen his cock because it's sort of an inside semi-joke that his girlfriend may own it, but I hold it in Gay Escrow. And though it remains by me to date unsucked, it still figures heavily on our list of possible things to do on a night out: catch a play, grab a coffee, suck Mickey's cock, shop for a new winter coat.

No big deal.

Jake is a guy about my age whom I've considered hot since our teen years. The classic torn Levis and rumpled tee shirt bad boy who gets hotter each time I see him, he has frequently caught me staring lasciviously at him; on one occasion in response, he very sweetly wiped some make-believe slobber from my chin, and as closely as possible without actually French kissing me leaned into my face and said with a broad grin, "you're drooling, Kid."

Jake's business brought him to Asia years ago and he very rarely gets back to the states. But he is another of those rare men who while he hasn't a single desire to ever really BE with a guy enjoys toying with the prospect of looking down and watching me suck his dick. In Jake's case, I think a few different elements are at play: first, the guy is a total stud and he likes his sex; again: Blowjob Good. Second is the fact that our conversations about sex - his straight and involving a wide assortment of women splashed across the Asian continent, mine gay and featuring a wide assortment of men I've splashed on across the boroughs of New York City - are always very frank and nonjudgmental. It's part of that Levis-and-tee-shirt ease that Jake brings to everything that makes sex talk so casual and delightful (and at least for me, just as engorging as it is engaging). So knowing as he does how much I enjoy sex, and how frequently I've boasted of my ability to suck a bowling ball through a coffee stirrer, part of Jake's interest in the prospect of getting head from me is simply watching a self-professed artist at work. I mean, even if you think Jackson Pollock's work amounted to nothing more than a bunch of overrated drop cloths, you have to acknowledge their power and majesty when you enter their presence.

For Jake to entertain the notion of having me suck him off, think of it as his not particularly liking poultry, but hearing me talk so often and so effusively of my infamous roasted chicken that he finally just says, "you know what? Next time I'm in town I expect you to cook me that roasted chicken I hear so damned much about." He may push away from the table mid-meal; he may become a convert and try to add chicken to his diet on a semi-regular if on-the-down-low basis; or more than likely he may finish the meal, say 'glad I tried it,' and feel honored and pleased with a meal that was prepared especially for him but which will not be part of his culinary repertoire again any time soon. The important thing here is that he's made it clear that under the right conditions he would consider ordering off a menu whose nutritional offerings differ vastly from his usual indulgences.

Two other straight-identifying men who stick out in my sexual history as it relates here are Vic and Joey. These two I've gotten it on with repeatedly, so I don't know how strong either's resolution may actually be to forever maintain that hetero stance. But the curiosity and experimentation at the heart of this discussion were what led to our initial encounters so the patterns at least at the beginning were the same as my more innocent, less committed prior examples.

We'll look at these two head cases next time. And lest I risk you wanting to smack my ass and call me Judge Judy, "head cases" is not an aspersion cast on their mental stability (as it relates to their sexual orientations or their grasps of any other realities) but rather a reference to the fact that actual head was given (and maybe even tentatively reciprocated) as I engaged with these men.

But while we're on the subject of you smacking my ass... nah. I'll save that for another time...

NEXT UP: CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

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Cas I am a big fan of confusion. It's boredom I can't handle. Thank you all for chiming in! Suzily, you seem to be my female partner in crime; I shall start designing our SexDuo disguises. Nancela, yes: moist mouth on dick = nothing to complain about. And ToDreamIt, my dear... comments like this will certainly go a long way in helping me "keep it up." And admittedly, in making me hard as well.
Cas [I would be remiss in my duties as a community spokesman (self-appointed or otherwise), a gay man, and a human being if I did not recognize today as World AIDS Day. I hope that each of us will reflect on the fact that 30 years since the disease first reached our collective conscious as a growing and terrifying epidemic, women now account for 50% of worldwide infections, and in our own backyard more than half a million US citizens are suffering. If you think this dreaded (and fortunately avoidable) disease doesn't affect you I compel you to look around more closely and realize it more than likely strikes closer to home than you think. I urge my friends and readers: Avoid the activities that put you at risk; if you've already found yourself among the number living with it, learn from your experience; whether sick, suffering, surviving or blessedly escaping thus far unharmed, teach -- teach those around you, underneath you, and looking up to you -- how to behave with the self-respect and self-restraint that equal self-preservation; and remember those who are no longer with us whose struggles lead to the power we now have to demand we end this tragedy in this generation without fail. My love and respect, and my sincere wishes to each and every one of you that we finally learn, as a community of sexually diverse creatures, that we don't have to pay for physical satisfaction with our health and our lives. - Cas Marino 12/1/2009 ]
ToDreamIt I LOVE the way you write!! Keep it up (pun intended.)
Nancela Being a heterosexual female and feeling a little left out here, have just one burning question: Does the "BLOWJOB GOOD" theory apply to gay men getting their cocks sucked by heterosexual women? Just askin'.
Suzily Nice one Cas. It's amusing to compare your experiences with ones I've had with straight women, though I hear time and time again now that women shouldn't be qualified as gay or straight since their sexuality is "fluid" (only when they're really enjoying themselves, love). While some are willing to explore their bi sides quite thoroughly, I've met very few who haven't at some point at least kissed another girl. While I dislike their motives from time to time (and know many lesbians it outright infuriates) there is much to be glad for in such an attitude. Would that such openness were sexually universal, what a wonderful (confusing) splendid world it would be...

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