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Don't you find it the least bit interesting that your friends' relationships are never like yours? Or, more specifically, that they are never like yours at the same time? What I mean to say: Your relationship might be flowers and dandelions, while your dearest friend's relationship is in knee deep in shit and crap or vice versa. Is it just me?

Years ago, I was all ready to cheat on my boyfriend, so I had an old flame come out for a visit. We got all hot and heavy, then, ERRRRRRSSSSSST (brakes), he stopped and said, "I can't do this to my lady, I love her" (needless to say, they broke up, and I wanna kick him in the nads for our missed opportunity). Then recently, I discovered I loved my husband, and now I'm getting offers to cheat up the ying-yang.

WHAT THE FUCK?!

Are the planets purposefully misaligned to prevent some, not all, of us from making possibly painful mistakes? But, there's more. How often have you called up one of your girl friends or guy friends to tell them about your latest sexcapades and, in between your excitement, they chime in with, "Damn, I haven't been fucked like that in weeks!" Sometimes months even! And, of course, the minute you hit a sex dry spell, here comes that same friend to tell you that their significant other just fucked their brains out for ten days straight.

It's really hit or miss. I know this is a silly complaint or maybe just a rant gone wild, but I wish - and here's the sneaky, nasty, dirty me cumming out, shhhh - I wish more of my friends and I were on the same sex cycle so that we could CON-vince our lovers into taking that first step and attending a sexy party (gotta say it like Stewy on Family Guy for real effect). I know, I'm terrible, but I'm not talking about all of my friends; there are some who I'd be fine with never ever seeing naked...but! There are quite a few with whom that I'd love to get a little more intimate. Alright, so maybe I'd prefer that they leave their loved ones at home so they can focus all that good feeling just on me...Oops, did I type that out loud?

Stream of conscience, my ass!

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phallatio Timing is all important in everything to do with sex! Finding someone with the same sex drive as you is high on impossible. Finding someone who always wants it when you want it: impossible. Finding someone who loves precisely what you are into: impossible. And you want some of your friends (not all of them) to come with you and hubbie to a party, and be into what you're into on exactly the same day? That is asking for some very perfect timing! Having said that: I feel the same way as you! xx

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