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Hello! My blog is gonna be all about sex and the stars. Human stars, that is (I would LOVE to believe in astrology, mind you, but, unfortunately, I know better).

On to sex and celebrities - I hate to say that I'm more into celebrity culture than I am sex at the moment. But I am, and I will admit it because:

a. dissecting celebrities is a joyful, if not enriching pastime; and

b. I know I'm not alone.

Maybe I should start this blog by revealing my qualifications to talk about celebrities and sex. Well, I am a self-taught authority regarding every useless detail ever written about a celebrity. Plus, I once held hands with Bono in a diner booth in Boston, after I finished serving him his tuna on rye. So, let's get into it, people.

CHEATING.

I hate talking about this my first time out of the gate, especially because I have to talk about someone who plays golf. Thanks a lot, Tiger. In fact, I think you are decidedly one of the most unsexy celebrities, or people, ever known to man. It's the polo shirt, the icky voicemail, the cheesy fist pump when you hit a par or a birdie or whatever it is called. But, thanks to you, I am compelled to mention how I feel about cheating.

People cheat. Men, women, gay, and straight. We cheat for one reason and one reason only, and that is that we are a very selfish form of life, humans. Being in a relationship is great - it has many benefits, such as warmth, stability, shared rental expenses, and financial security. But there is just one thing - this shit gets boring.

I don't care if you are Brad and Angelina, or Padma and whatever insanely lucky old man she is snuggling up to. It just gets dull. And the idea of being with someone else, of coming and going and doing something clandestine and feeling like you are in high school again sneaking your first cigarette - now, THAT is sexy. Things that make you feel like you are in high school again - save for adult onset acne and multiple-choice exams – are sexy.

Cheating, therefore, is selfish. Newsflash, I know! You want to keep what you have - and you would be nuts not to - but you want to escape the drudgery of your everyday relationship. I only bring up the ridiculously obvious because, in the next few weeks, so many reasons will be bandied about as to why Tiger is a sex fiend. His hot Swedish wife doesn't like oral. He has commitment issues due to being born on a Sunday. The pressures of fame are too much. Being mixed race is really, really hard. He's bipolar and possibly bisexual. Bollocks. Homeboy was bored. Just bored.

And that, my friends, is why I am already bored with this tabloid tale. Next time, we'll talk about something and someone far more interesting, I promise.

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mhkj How about the fact that Jennifer Aniston keeps attempting to date losers? She seems nice enough - there are a million men in this world (rich, poor, handsome, not so handsome), that would give her the world and want to treat her like a queen - what's the deal Jen? Be smart for once...

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